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[cardoperatedboy]

The Replica, Memory, Identity, Authority, and why he's so Fucked In The Head

Despite all appearances, the Riku Replica and Riku aren't -- or didn't originate as -- the same individual. They sort of became that way; not that Riku became like the Replica, but that the Replica was forced into a role where he was Riku in order that Riku could symbolically slay him and move on to a new identity that he hated less/which caused less suffering, having put his past self to death. (Hence the Riku Replica's 'new' identity all being patterned on Riku's past, not his then-current and highly transitional, self). It's all very archetypal. XD

But when he was first made, the Riku Replica wasn't a duplicate of Riku in personality. That was part of the whole point. Vexen is a scientist; replication is a good test of possibility, but that's a base subject to develop upon; experimentation involves improving upon, testing other variables, etc. When the Riku Replica first faces Riku, it's the Replica who's the confident one. Certainly, he loses, but he doesn't lose his confidence by losing to Riku. He keeps it -- assures Riku that next time he'll win, he only lost because he's new, but he's only going to get stronger. (Riku, on the other hand, is a little jerk and immediately decides to kill him right off so there won't be a next time. XD) The Riku Replica, as his own personality, isn't -- or I should say, wasn't at first -- the sort of person who lets his security be shaken easily at all. He's strong, smug, confident, and planning to live and overcome. He wasn't comparing himself to Riku back then -- not really. The thought kind of boggled him. Who would want to compare himself to someone who was afraid of the dark?

He had a self then; he acknowledges it as such when Riku calls him fake. "I didn't mean "fake"! Just because you're real doesn't mean you're better!"

Oh, certainly, he's very similar to Riku. His brain patterns, his thought formations, everything is in the same coordination as Riku's own, after all. There's no way you can look at his 'LOL I HAVE TEH POWER OF DARKNESS FOOOOOOL' moments and not see Riku from KH1 and his "The door has opened >DDD" creepy moments, or dark form Riku lording it over Sora in Hollow Bastion. I suspect he's created as a replica of Riku's dark-power-laden form not just because he's, you know, a replica of Riku as darkly powered, but also to draw a visual parallel to that moment of desperate power-hungry crisis Riku was going through at the time.

But similarities to Riku or not, there are definite differences. One of these is his response to authority.

Riku doesn't really put up with authority. Even with Maleficient, he was always pushing his boundaries, shoving her hand away from his shoulder, acting with her only because their interests coincided. The Riku Replica, however, is very responsive to authority.

But, er, Haru, you say. The Riku Replica's lack of respect for Larxene gets him kinda. You know. Raped.

...I never said he was tactful in his response to authority. XD He's insulting, rude, and stand-offish.

But. Let me take a step backwards before continuing.

One of the reasons the Replica is different from Riku, despite sharing the same brain, thought patterns, etc, is that he doesn't (...didn't...) have Riku's background. Vexen doesn't replicate Riku's memories; that's one of the big points of the change that happens. But at the same time, Vexen obviously doesn't want to spend six to thirteen years teaching the Replica some of the basic life information he'll need, like 'fire is hot' and 'don't stick pointy things in your mouth'. I am presuming -- fairly, I think -- that Vexen just programmed a lot of the basics of survival, language, understanding of the world that's going around him, schema etc into the Replica's conscious and subconscious without associating it with particular memories. We might not remember how we learned what a cat is, or how to eat or walk or speak our own language; it's all learned response by now. Vexen pops all necessary information into him just as learned response, etc. Essentially, the Replica has all the information for living life without any experience of it; he knows what an orange is, not to squeeze it too hard, maybe even what citrusy things are like, but he's never eaten in his life. Eating an orange wouldn't surprise him with anything but the little details Vexen might think is irrelevant to include in what is, essentially, a rush job -- like the way the little white stringy bits get stuck between your teeth. The way your stomach clenches and feels when you eat. He wouldn't need to program that in because it's not about learned response, it's about automatic bodily response. Things like taste and feel are also probably included in things that the Replica isn't used to, because that's also not learned; it's sense memory.

(Does he have the scientific background to be able to do this? I think so. We know that being able to create a new personality for Roxas was such a matter of course for DiZ that he could mention it entirely offhandedly to 'Ansem', and Even had been one of DiZ's older apprentices. Also, we know from the Ansem reports that Even had an intense interest in hidden memories/amnesia -- I think the survival of a personality without memories really covers the type of thing he was studying.)

Basically, the real Riku has formative memories. Not necessarily great ones; he may have a giant room in a big house, but something let him grow up into the kind of teenager who would, you know, destroy his entire world to get himself and the two people important to him out into other worlds. XD Not saying it's abusive, anything like that, but you know, he's not exactly the best-raised kid out there. But he has memories of succeeding, memories of being admired, memories of committing atrocities. Memories of hanging out with Sora, finding out about a girl who fell from the sky, playing on the beach.

The Replica just has (or rather, had, at his birth) information; otherwise, he's a blank slate, a newborn child.

Now, his response to authority -- which I'll get to! -- could be put down to imprinting, maybe, or a feature of his default or natural personality, or it could be put down to Vexen trying to make things easier. Because let's face it, if Vexen was like "You, kid, go out and fight this guy and make me proud :3" to Riku, Riku'd be like "The hell is wrong with your head, how about I kill you instead?" and that'd be awkward.

The Replica, however, does submit -- if with varying degrees of attitude -- to authority, or what he perceives as authority. This isn't always the same person all the time, and someone he doesn't originally perceive as authority he might later come to respect -- and submit -- to.

This can be best seen in the following cases:

1) Vexen

That the Replica respects (...respected) Vexen, and looked up to him, is pretty much a given. The way he talks to Vexen about what Vexen wanted him to do with Riku shows it. Heck, following Vexen upstairs is a sign that he's, well, a follower. (Thinking it over, I don't think that Vexen was bringing the Replica up to show him off, as he'd have introduced him earlier if so, rather than the Replica following Vexen in at a bad point in the conversation. He's a little like a baby chick in a way. Heck, we see that Vexen's betrayal hurts him -- when Vexen agrees to basically destroy the Replica's current 'self' in favor of making him another Riku, the Replica is horrified and hurt."How could you?" It's not the sort of question one can ask if they didn't care -- and if they didn't think the other person cared. He genuinely thought Vexen cared for him, and was going to do more than just "put him to good use".

He's definitely a figure that the Replica looked up to and was obedient of -- when he attacked, it wasn't Vexen he attacked, despite it being Vexen who betrayed him. It was Larxene he attacked instead. And admittedly, she was the one who suggested it, but not really the cause of his pain. He expected Vexen to protect him; Vexen went along with it instead.

2) Larxene

This one might seem a bit odd. No matter whether you're looking at the game or the manga, it's not something you'd call respectful. In the game, she suggests rewriting the Replica, Vexen agrees, the Replica threatens her and attempts to attack, and she bitchsmacks him to the floor for daring to assume he could hurt her. He lies there as they approach and screams and begs them not to. In the manga, he insults her age and she grabs him, drags him bodily down the hall, bends him over a table and pins him there with her body, and then has Namine mess with his head while he screams.

But what we see here isn't respect of authority but fear of authority. He assumes a helplessness that becomes real. I was talking about this last night with cloakanddaikon when Axel was flinging the Replica around, because she'd mentioned that if the Replica fought, he could take Axel. And I was like "Yeah, but canon, with Larxene..." and she mentioned the general fear of/susceptibility to authority you often see in young kids and, well, yeah. Basically. There is no way in the game that the Replica should be a one-hit knockdown from Larxene and not be able to get up. There's no way that he should be able to be hauled bodily by Larxene without getting himself a chance to fight. It speaks of the fact that he's not thinking, not fighting, just reacting in panic and animal terror. He's not fighting with; he's struggling against. And there's no reason for this switch except for who and what she is: Larxene, XII in the Organization, their group's right hand woman, powerful Nobody.

If this total sudden inability in face of her wrath isn't a response to authority, I don't know what is.

3) Namine (?)

This is a tricky one, and one I include only for completion, because I'm not sure it really fits. He doesn't really view her as authority. But the fact that she implants memories of powerfully devotional behaviour in him and he continues to respond to that, as someone who will do anything and everything to get her what she wants just because she wants it, it implies a compatability inside him to that sort of devotion/obedience; it's not the sort of emotional response he'd struggle against.

4) Sora (?)

Again, not really accurate, but he starts off not respecting Sora at all, and when he starts to -- by the end of the game -- his attitude changes. Of all the points to focus on, I'm going to point to when Sora tells him to protect Namine, and he protests, "Me?" And when Sora challenges him with a "You don't want to?" he agrees to protect her.

Now, there's a lot of reasons this happens. For one thing, by that point, his sense of self as a unique identity and his fear of loss of what little he has is overwhelming. He doesn't consider himself worth anything; this is the same guy who can later pronounce "Good riddance to a fake existence". This is also a self who has incredibly contradictory feelings towards Namine at that point. On the other hand, it was his 'childhood' promise to protect Namine that GOT him to the point of attacking Marluxia, even though he knows it was fake, because it provided a driving force of feeling that allowed him to act. Essentially, seeing him follow up that sort of "even if it's a fake promise, it's my promise" belief with an almost immediate "...*me*? Protect Namine?" shows the conflict he has over the issue. But it's in response to Sora -- someone he's come to respect -- telling him to that he finally agrees to do so. Hard to say if it's significant, but especially in comparison to KH1's equivalent -- Riku about to get locked behind the door, telling Sora to protect Kairi, and Sora instantly agreeing -- I think it's reasonable to assume the comparison is drawn to show that sort of uncertainty, and thus highlight the agreement as being about someone else's choice, not his own.

5) Axel

Oh, Axel. We never see the scene where the Replica decides to go with Axel, and because of that one has to speculate. We know Axel must have offered him the power he needed to go after Riku, but it's also clear that Axel didn't explain how until he already had Zexion there in front of him. So why would the Replica go with him not knowing where it'd lead, what Axel wanted of him?

Well, he was almost certainly scared at that point -- by the time he faces Riku, he's terrified of what'll become of him. And let's face it. He's an infant made earlier that day, all the things he'd just started to trust ripped from him, including himself. He's both wounded from the fact that he's lost his sense of self and immensely burdened by the fact that, now that he has and is responding to fake versions of Riku's memories, he's nothing more than an imitation. He was able to deny being fake in the beginning, because he was genuine in his own way; now he's not, because everything about him including his personality is artificial, fake versions of Riku's, with bare scraps of what he used to have just enough to highlight the difference. So. He's alone and scared and going off to die and here comes Axel, a member of the Organization, one of the ones who stood back and let the replica be used but who didn't actively use him -- yet -- to offer him power. The chance to be real. Just come with me. Do what I say. And you'll get what you want. It may be fair to compare what happened in this missing scene to how Axel behaved on the beach with Kairi in KH2, that sort of taunting dark "I can give you what you want if you'll come with me" overtone.

Kairi ran; the Replica took him up on it. And seemed to believe that it'd work, that he was, again, more than just a tool to destroy Zexion for Axel.

Of course it didn't work.

But I think the point is that he had to try. He'd been an incredibly confident, self-assured person, and he remembers being that, and he knows how it was taken from him. If he has any bid to get that back, to stop being a worse, fake double, to be an original again -- he has to try. It's not a 'have to try' of confidence but of terror. By this point, I've mentioned, the Replica is running scared. After the fight with Riku, even, we see that he's both afraid of death and afraid that his fear of death isn't even his own. And Riku doesn't help that; Riku highlights the fact that the replica isn't an original, and the Replica laughs at that and resigns himself to it as he dies. This -- okay, I'm weak to him, I think everyone can tell that I love the character, but this breaks my heart. He's lonely, and scared, and at the end he isn't even himself, and he resigns himself to that with a smile.

But I don't think that sort of terror goes away fast; it's staying with him in camp.

I mean, he's got a lot of reason to fear for his identity. He got a lot of questions he couldn't properly answer, and flat out statements told him about how he was obviously his own person. But he's -- not. He had enough of a self to recognize what's not it, and that's the dominant feature in his psyche now. It's not something he can cope with well. When it first started happening -- when he realized that Sora and he had the same memories and that was impossible -- he went into fight or flight mode. Fight and flight, actually; he fought Sora and then, when he lost, he didn't say a word; he just ran away, dropping the 'good luck charm' behind him. (They had turned a card into a fake star charm, and Namine wrote the memory into him that she'd given it to him when he promised to protect her when they were children). He stayed away for a good long period after that (long enough to get Vexen killed for his absence, actually), trying to come to terms, and only showed up again to challenge Sora -- an act that made Namine break his heart out of concern for Sora. When he recovered, he had both memories, and was left, as the game puts it, "wounded".

To give an example of the conflict he feels all the time over issues, let's take a big one: Namine! On the one hand, he remembers with richness, depth, and complexity, what it was like to grow up with her. They've been friends forever and he's been in love nearly that long. He remembers a rich full night where stars were falling, and they made Namine afraid, so that she started to cry. He remembers the feeling of pain at seeing her suffer, remembers swinging around the toy sword he had with him -- maybe even remembers the feel of the wood grain, the strain in his wrist. He remembers promising her, and meaning it with all his heart, that if any star falls towards them he'll hit it back into outer space. He remembers her smile, and the joy of her smile, and his own heart clenching as he sees it -- and her gratitude making her press the only thing she's had with her since she was a baby, a little good luck charm, into his hand.

He also remembers screaming and begging them to leave him alone, not to hurt him, as she, a complete stranger who he'd met only for this purpose, implanted false memories into his head taken from a card of the memories of someone he hates and her own false memories she'd already implanted into someone else. Not even custom-designed for him. He remembers the terror at losing himself to it ("She'll implant the prettiest lies") and how no amount of screaming or begging could make her stand up for him. (However, it didn't even take that much for her to step in to protect Sora) Sure, she probably didn't want to do it; it was probably a loathesome, horrible task that highlighted how terrified she was of them, but he wasn't important enough to fight it over, and he remembers being aware of that fact until he wasn't aware of anything any more but Riku.

All that is present whenever he looks at them. And he responds to the memories; of course he does. He can't help it; they feel like they belong to him, even if he knows at the same time they're false. He can't help but forgive her, he can't help but love her, he can't help but want to be by her side and protect her.

And he also knows he feels those things because she forced him to.

And he doesn't care because he feels too much for her to mind what she's done to him.

But he only feels those things for her because --

etc.

What it comes down to is that he can't make claim to an identity of his own any more precisely because his gut instincts aren't his own. His memories are false, his feelings are false, and he knows that, but he feels them anyway. What isn't fake is based entirely on someone else's. He's running so desperately to try to get a grasp of his own identity because he doesn't have one, and he knows it, and people don't believe him, and he can't explain it -- partly because to explain it would cast blame on Namine and he can't bear the even vague thought that they'd blame her for it, because he loves her (because she put memories in of him loving her, because -- insert recursion here).

This goes on with everything he deals with. All the time now. To the point that when he's afraid of dying, when he's afraid he'll just stop existing, he isn't even sure that feeling's his own.

Worse, he knows this feeling of identity has been stolen from him -- not just from Namine (who he trusts/loves now despite knowing that feeling is fake) but from the first person he trusted/was devoted to, from people he feared. He knows he had a self, he knows it's gone. He wants it back, but how do you do that? I think one of the reasons he fights Riku is just because if he can prove some sort of separation he might be able to break past the memories. (I don't think he's right; I don't think he can escape them now they're a part of him. Namine already revealed in canon that she can't fix the damage that's been done to his memory, and if she can't, who could?)

And to make this all into the nearly unbearable stage, this all happened in what was, to him, barely a few days ago. All the first day of his existence. He has maybe ten, twelve hours of life, and camp is set immediately after his death. This is all new and raw and horrible.

So, right now in camp, he's a bit like a wounded animal. He's suspicious of everyone, especially people in authority (and especialllly the org) but he can't help responding to them with both hope and terror. He can and does snark and play cool, but it doesn't take much to push him into fight or flight or blind panic right now. He doesn't trust anyone. As with the constant "Why are you doing this" to Zexion (who he doubly doesn't trust for the Org and the 'I killed him' and the Zexion being 'Let's use it ' about the Replica right before getting killed), he's --

Well, let's face it. He was created to be used. Larxene's right; "What he is is a toy". He's been used and abused and although he wants things like friendships and trust and play and all those things he's had implanted into him as *normal*, he's suspicious of every offered hand as something to bite. There wasn't a single person in canon who treated him as his own person; even Sora saw him only as Riku or the imitation, though Sora went the farthest to see him as himself. He craves it; fighting with Roxas was infused with an awkward sense of "wow he's like my age and he's not like the others" except, of course, he's a Nobody and a fighter too and doesn't think he can win; conversing with Imoen was like being normal except that she of course highlighted the difference between himself and Riku and who's 'likely' to be the one to want to get rid of the other (correct or not XD). But he craves that; how can he not? He's got memories of it. Even if they're fake. Even if he can't trust that sort of thing actually happens. His own memories, the ones from his short life, are much more unpleasant.

And those he knows are true.

So why did he almost take Zexion's hand the other day? Well.

He's weak to authority especially if it's offering something he wants. And Zexion was offering, right there, a life where he wouldn't be objectified. Where someone would care enough to interfere to save him from pain and abuse, if not provide him parental guidance.

The replica doesn't really believe it's true.

But he can't refuse it, either. He's got a heart, and it hurts.

Comments

[teal-deer.livejournal.com]

Eh, it was my first videogame ever and I didn't do too badly at all. *shrug*