Jul. 27th, 2010

cardoperatedboy: (Lost in the darkness)
Left around for a very few of the people the Riku Replica had some good OR bad ~feeeeelings~ about are some letters.



To Roxas

Take care of Naminé. She deserves it.



To Sora

Heading out to try to have a few adventures of my own. I'm really sure I'll see you again sometime. So don't forget me this time!!



To Riku
What do I even say here? Come find me sometime or I'll find you. Maybe by then I really will be better than you, in all kinds of ways, instead of just being like you.

...it's not that you're bad to be like.

It's just that I want to really define a 'me' for me to be like, too.



To Demyx
Yeah, mail me your annual income next year, loser, we'll see who's laughing then.



To Tsuna
Thanks for hanging out with me ...pretty much the whole time we've both been here. You're a cool guy. Don't let the future freak you out, and who knows, maybe we'll meet up again sometime.



To Naminé

I love you. I'll always love you, okay? I'll say that here if nowhere else. Don't let anyone else read this! These words are just for you.

I know my memories together with you, growing up with you, swearing to protect you -- I know they're not real. They're not even mine and not real. But that feeling's never left. I feel it right now, 100%. It's not a memory. It's a fact. And that's -- that's something I've been struggling with, like, forever... how can something be completely fake, completely made up, but completely real too? Because I've never doubted my feelings for you. I've doubted their origins, sure. But not the feelings themselves. I can't doubt my feelings for you. Because they're always everywhere in me. Always pounding through me. I love you. I want to protect you. From everything.

So maybe there's an answer there. I don't know.

But I can't have you.

I've been trying to cope with this. And I can't! Because I want you. I love you. I know you even care about me! But I can't stand being second. I can't stand just sitting by and knowing that you feel things for other people, that I'm sharing time and space with someone else. And that's me. That's my problem, which is why I've tried to shut up and cope with it. The source is pretty damn obvious. I'd have to be stupid not to realize why I feel that way. Because I'm not original; I'm a copy. My place in people's hearts has always been fake. And even when I've earned something real for myself, it doesn't feel that way to me if anyone else is there. I'll always move back to being a shadow. And, Naminé, I don't know if I can ever stand to be anything but the only thing you see, because you're the person I want the most to see me as real, and you're the person I'm most afraid will pick someone else over me.

So it's time for a change. I'll never stop loving you, and I'll never stop wanting to protect you, but I'm going to go off and find myself. Zexion said I could come along and help him out with some things. Maybe this means that I'm really just a tool of the Organization again. I don't know. But it'll be a change of pace and maybe, when I'm learning more about life out there, and doing more like that... maybe I'll learn to overcome myself.




[...and, of course, he's the opposite of stealthy, so if anyone wanted to catch him depositing said letters, they could.]
cardoperatedboy: (eyes like these)
Dropped July 27, 2010 (OOC Post notification)

The Riku Replica ([livejournal.com profile] cardoperatedboy): 9,418 comments, played from 2006-12-02 to 2010-07-27 (1,333 days at 7 comments/day)

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